I Feel Crazy

When they say love is a sickness, I think I may understand it a bit more now. I've only just met this girl Jennifer this past weekend and only talked with her for about 2 weeks. Obviously, I'm not "IN LOVE" at this point because I still have so much to find out about her and she has so much to find out about me. But I can definitely say, I'm seriously crazy about this girl. And I don't really know at what point you consider yourself in love with someone anyway... but I'm pretty sure it doesn't happen until you get over the phase I'm in.

I can't sleep very well... I constantly find myself distracted doing literally anything. My conversations over IM (as Grayce can attest to) are very interesting as I constantly am not making sense. I can't seem to be comfortable anywhere. My appetite hasn't disappeared (thank god) but I do find myself not really considering the taste of what I'm eating just that I eat something.

Everything about her right now interests me and keeps me going. There is non-stop communication between us through email, text messaging, and phone conversations throughout the day. I just feel totally crazy but I don't feel alone in it. She seems to be in the absolute same situation as I am at the moment.

I guess I know realistically that down the line, that sort of "puppy" love or whatever you may want to call it disappears... but it's something I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about before. In fact, I know I have never felt so passionately strong about a person before... yet I really haven't known her long enough to say something like that. I just feel so comfortable already... we seem to say directly what is on our minds to each other (without the typical filter you find at the beginning of a relationship). She wants to meet my friends and family and vice versa. We mesh on all the important things... we seem to be at the same point with how we regard life... and we both feel very sure and comfortable of who we are.

Either way, I can honestly say life is absolutely wonderful, but I wish I wouldn't feel like a crazy person. I'm going up to see her this weekend for 15 hours before I have to be back in Portland for Halloween plans I had with Anna and friends. And then I will be going up the following weekend. And then she'll be down for 4 days the weekend after that. Neither of us feel things are progressing in too fast of a state... but there's still a small part of me that feels this whole thing is crazy. I feel like I'm going to wake up and find it was just a sick dream.

I also feel like I need to shut up about it... because I can't stop talking about her with people I know. I guess when something dominates your mind... you want to talk about it... but doesn't mean that everyone wants to hear it. Especially since many people have gone through or are in similar situations themselves right now.

So to all my friends... I promise... I will try to be less puke-worthy. If you feel like I need to shut up about it... by all means tell me and I will shut up. Honestly, I think the disease is taking its hold and it will be a while before I recover.