Work or Play?

Called in sick to work today. I feel guilty not getting in to collect my pre-tax 80$(especially since I just turned all consumer-whore at the Banana Republic Fall Sale), but so fiendeshly happy at another lazy day. I really wish I had something more exciting to do besides drink peppermint tea w/ honey and read The Second Sex, but I can't complain...especially since I know what some of you are facing on your Mondays. (Sorry about the root canal Anna!)

During grade/middle/high school I never missed a day of school. When I caught bronchitis from Peter--damn you Peter!--in 7th grade my parents told me "our tax dollars are paying for you to be there!" and so I went. Going to college was a revelation...being able to say "hmm...I'm tired/sick/hungry. I don't think I'll show up today."

Of course, now the problem is that if I could, I'd say that everyday. It was nice not having the choice...when my parents were enforcing the everyday thing I never had to make the decision to play hooky. Now that I actually have to pretend to be mature, its harder than I thought to be as disciplined as they made me be.

When I decide that I'm going to be disciplined about something, then I am, and thats it. But if I haven't made that decision...thats when I get this waffly-I can't decide whether to go to work today-whats my excuse today-thing going on. I really could have gone in today...my voice is shot and I feel nastiness in my nose and throat, but I'm still clear-headed and work doesn't require me talking, so I could have gotten a few ELISA's in and set up some mice F2 breeding pairs. Instead, I'll probably end up going to the mall to exchange my peacoat for a smaller size. And the aforementioned tea and book.

I am a total bum.

I also need a job that I enjoy going to in the mornings. Although now that I've had the "you drive me crazy" talk with my co-worker and she totally became a better person, works actually been fine, just non-intellectually stimulating and not enough of it to fill the day.

Boy, this was a long post. Verbal you-know-what for the guilty conscience. I'll apply to more engineering jobs today...that will make the guilt go away. Northrop Grumman, here I come.

After the mall. (Purposely avoiding the Banana Republic where I gave my number to the salesguy while wearing my Sunset H.S. Ski Team vest. Yeah, I'm still in high school. Call me if you like jailbait. Whoops.)

I have no idea wtf I'm doing. But hell...I think I'm starting to be a happier person even so. And thats worth ALL the confusion. Life's about the journey, not the end result right?