April Venting
I'm lonely and wish I had more friends in the area.
I want people to watch movies with.
To talk books with.
To cook and eat dinner with.
To drag and be dragged to concerts.
To go climbing/running with.
There is only so much library book reading I can do. Or cooking for one 5/7 days of the week.
GAAAAAHHHH it's like the more time I spend trying to be self-reliant and independent the more people see me as such. And the more retarded I sound when meeting people. "BE MY FRIEND PLEEEEEEZ" with a slightly hopeful expression, only to violently withdraw when said person does not fit the mental ideal I thought they would/could/should be. Helllo, did I ever learn from middle-school crushes??? Accepting people for who they are and not imprinting them on my cookie-cutter mold? Naaaahhhh.
*situation is not nearly as desperate as the author would like you to believe. well, ok, it is slightly sad. but there are said individuals to hang out with when she bothers to make the effort to schedule things. and there are the many, many people that she should call and catch up with - apologies to said people - but hasn't because the lack of geographical and emotional closeness to enough people has rendered her completely batty. it's also more than likely that a hormonal change is behind all this, at which point you will hear that she is completely and utterly blissful tomorrow.*
You know those happy pictures of people having dinner parties? I want those. Hollywood has created this ideal of a life that I want to have and since I don't it sucks. People in movies never have to post BE MY FRIEND PLEEEEEEZ! on craigslist. I haven't done it yet, but I'm thinking about it...
(Sometimes, I see myself as a Sim with social level 6 and no one else in the neighborhood. And the pure mention of The Sims is probably why I don't have any real friends.)
*giggle*
May,
You are cute. I read the words, "'BE MY FRIEND PLEEEEEEZ' with a slightly hopeful expression" and I laughed out loud. I have the cutest mental picture of you saying this.
I would like to also say cooking for one is hard. I even find cooking for two is hard because I don't like to eat the same leftovers 3 or 4 nights in a row.
Hmm
I sometimes feel like you do. I have a hard time making actual friends. I have lots of acquaintances, but few actual friends. I think the majority of actual friends I have are still from high school. And with everyone getting married, getting jobs, moving all over the country, etc... sometimes it starts to feel lonely. I think the hard part about growing up though is that our lives become more distant from even our closest friends... and I hate it just as much as you probably do.
All I can say, I just busy myself with things when I start to dwell on it. I take every opportunity to hang out with the people I am friends with that I can... and when I can't... I just find some hobby to distract me (games, guitar, etc). The one thing that has helped recently is I'm just too busy to hang out too much. I hang out a couple days on the weekend... but very rarely do I do something during the week.
Try volunteer stuff, take a class, or better yet... move to Portland! :) But like you said, you'll probably feel 100% different tomorrow. :) You are probably no different than a lot of people our age.